Stop Seeing Other Therapists As Competition

In this bold solo episode of The Visibility Standard, I'm calling in the therapist community with love (and some necessary tough truth) to talk about the competition, gatekeeping, and comparison that's keeping us isolated when we should have each other's backs.

I'm getting real about the dysfunction in our field—from grad school pettiness to non-compete drama to the subtle ways we make other therapists feel like outsiders—and what it would actually look like if we chose collaboration over competition.

This episode unpacks:
✨ How competition culture in therapy training programs sets us up for professional isolation
✨ The gatekeeping that keeps promising therapists feeling like outsiders in their own field
✨ Why comparison and scarcity mindset are literally hurting our profession (and our clients)
✨ Non-compete agreements and other ways the therapy world protects territory instead of expanding access
✨ How I'm building a sustainable, connected career by choosing collaboration
✨ Practical ways to support other therapists instead of seeing them as threats
💡 What real community looks like when therapists actually lift each other up

This is for therapists who've felt like they don't fit the mold, helping professionals tired of toxic professional dynamics, and anyone ready to build genuine community in a field that desperately needs more connection and less competition.

Because our work is already hard enough—we shouldn't have to navigate professional mean girls energy on top of everything else.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello, everybody. Welcome to All Our Parts. Welcome back to All Our Parts. I am your host, Jazz, and today I'm going to be doing a little call-in to the therapist community on community, essentially, and connection, and sometimes the lack thereof. I think we take gatekeeping and competition a bit too far for a profession who is supposed to be helping and supporting people. I scroll through threads and I swear if I see another late cancel fee what's your cancellation policy private pay versus insurance argument I will crash out I think it happens so often and we equate capitalism essentially the position that it has put us in to how our peers colleagues moral compass accessibility is and I honestly saw this like in internship like I said to my supervisor I was like I don't think I'll ever be someone that takes insurance I don't have a desire to work with insurance and she got mad at me if I already know that and I believe that to be true you guilting me or saying that's what the place that I need to start in is not going to change how I feel about using insurance and I don't need to take insurance to be accessible and I don't need to prove that to you and so this conversations come up for a number of different reasons I was processing and supervision just to anxiety of feeling like I need to prove something and how because of that I may limit what I say or limit my opinion or not share my opinion and to that point she was like stop that and we stan a queen that supports our voice but I also was having a conversation last night a little bit afterwards with my friend Becca about evolving just in the social media space and seeing how relationships have evolved with that and she brought up a good point about how the field can be secretly competitive and gatekeepy and it's not even like a secret is the crazy thing like I'm thinking about one of my professors in grad school who's like we are gatekeeping she was the gatekeep queen I'm not gonna put her out there maybe I'll have her on the podcast because I do love her and I'm a fan but But at some point, when are we going to start building community with one another? Like, especially as we think about the way that mental health is evolving and what people are looking for out of their practitioners, inviting online and talking about how you are the gatekeeper of all things ain't the flex that you think it is. It's giving competition. It's giving isolation.

UNKNOWN: 3:29

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 3:31

It's giving, I am on my own hill and I don't want too many people on it. And there are so many people in this world who need our help, who need our support, that deserve our help, that deserve our support. And we don't need to be fighting with one another. We don't need to be ghosting or getting defensive with one another even looking at what another therapist is doing and feeling behind or jealous I started to experience some of that in grad school and so it's something I'm more aware of hence why you'll never catch me in a Facebook group because I hear those things are messy and there's so much already going on in the world I don't need to invite mess into my life I can turn on the news I can read an article but I don't need to have ops near me. That's just not necessary. But I remember in grad school, I had one peer who would clock my hours like they were hers. And I was like, girl, get out my business. And she would always just be so shady. Oh, Jasmine, I'm sure she's already done. I'm sure she already done her hours. I'm like, is that helping you? Is that moving you forward. But when we think about, especially a lot of the business practices that exist within private practice, like when we see the increase in non-competes, like suing one another, people can leave your practice. People can work with a practitioner that is meant for them. You do not own people. That is the tricky thing about therapy is that we work to put ourselves out of a job. We work so that we can see people move forward so that they can change their cadence The hope is that you are also lifting other therapists up to think of a career beyond one-to-one because that is not a retirement plan. Sometimes I'm already tired. Like I need a good break. I love a good vacation. I love some time off. But it is why I have started very early on having just a very multifaceted career. because one-to-one work is burnout central like during my internship I worked from home I saw clients virtually and the monotony of my day actually burned me out my insomnia got so bad one day I was awake till 5 a.m all day watching tv I couldn't sleep my eyes were red I looked tired, but I just couldn't. It was exhausting. And so I know for me, if I wanna sustain myself, if I wanna enjoy, not just sustain, if I wanna enjoy sitting across from someone for the long haul, I need some variety in my day, which means I also need some variety in how I am making an income. I need some variety and the kind of engagements that I have. When I went on my podcast sabbatical, that was actually the most exhausting I felt in my clinical work because I wasn't having those conversations. I wasn't pitching people to interview. And so having it back, I'm feeling so much more energized in my day. I'm feeling much more creative because I am breaking up the monotony. But we can't have these conversations if we are so hell-bent of being in competition with our peers. Confidence should not be a threat because I will never stop dreaming that this field can be better and I will never stop working to build a sustainable career that is visible, that is public, that comes with its ebbs and its flows. Because if I am done dreaming about whether or not the mental health field can be better that we can do things differently that means I don't care and if I've gotten to that point I have no business in this field or I need to deeply reevaluate my relationship to this field and that's truthfully what all of this comes down to is being honest about the relationship that we're having not only with ourselves in that moment but the relationship that we're having with all of these different aspects the relationship that we're having to clinical work, the relationships that we're having with other therapists, the relationship that we're having in supervision with your supervisees, all of those components influence how we perceive what showing up in this work looks like. I am so at peace that the people in my life now, I don't worry about them. If I'm anxious about something, it's because something I've experienced in the past but I truly do not worry about sharing my wins or sharing even my losses because I've had those too and social media is such a highlight reel it does not even come close to what a lot of people experience in a given 24 hours the grief the loss the pain and some people choose to share that other people maybe aren't ready to share that but I beg people who struggle with jealousy or find themselves comparing themselves to someone online please know that is one facet of their day it does not make up the year that they're having the month that they're having they are just choosing to share that one piece of their life with you but we have to be aware and present of the relationship that we are having to our work to our peers colleagues like all of it and the mental gymnastics that I personally have experienced and trying to be palatable and feeling like I need to do supervision right which I don't even think there is a right answer and feeling like I need to have the right answer or show up a certain way is exhausting and has been exhausting and I cannot play that game anymore if I am going to make the moves that I want to make and so part of this too is I've got to get out of my own fucking way I've got to get out of my own head supervisor tells me all the time Jasmine get out of your head yes you are right because at the end of the day now in this very present moment I am the only one that is stopping me from saying the thing or moving forward or sharing the opinion or the thought and I'm still people pleasing in a way I'm still trying to manage everyone's perception of me womp womp the girl who shows up is still doing the thing that she encourages people not to do which I feel like is like quintessential therapist moment moment but you get my drift I cannot continue to carry the perception of me held by others because that's going to freeze me that's going to leave me feeling so anxious and resentful and frozen because I I'm not going to be wanting to put myself out there. I'm not going to be wanting to do the things that I dream about that I believe are attainable. I'm an Aquarius. I believe that there is no dream. There is no dream that is unattainable. All of it's attainable to me. I believe that. And so I believe that, but I want to embody that. I want to be able to pursue that and in order for me to do that watch your circle that's great advice anywhere watch your circle but also let go of how you might be perceived by others because they're gonna perceive you any way they want to they're gonna project whatever they want onto you because they are experiencing you from their lens and they are experiencing you in accordance to the relationship that they have with themselves and so if I am always taking all of that into account every time I show up every time I say something every time I do something oh my gosh I'm never gonna do anything I'm stuck I'm frozen I try and rid myself as much as possible from the beliefs of others or or even the expectations people have of me. Like I did a little stint in residential. They're already trying to promote me. I don't even think I'm gonna be here six months, okay? I just wanna focus on being a good therapist. And that was literally what I told my manager. The only reason I am here is because I want to hone in on being a good therapist. They've got other plans and then they're shocked and I'm like, I'm not interested. and that's a story for another time let's just say I wasn't interested and you're not going to strong-arm me into wanting to be interested because something that I have learned very early on is that in this career in this world people will always look for somebody else to fulfill their mission and they will cozy up to you and they will tell you all the right things they will tell you just enough so that you can believe that their dream is your dream I know how cynical that sounds and sadly my experience has left me to believe that most people only have their best interests at heart not everybody and those are the people that I have in my life who I absolutely love and adore and admire and respect and care about and the thing is that with all of our strengths, with everything that we have to bring to the table, if we just worked together, if we made the conscious effort to lift one another up to work together, we would be so much better off. As a field, as a profession, as clinicians, as colleagues, like we would be so much better off if we just allowed ourselves the space and permission to say, Let's work together. What they're doing is no competition to what I'm doing. Light can shine as bright as it wants because it does not dim mine. They can girl boss their way to the top because it has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm doing because that is true. What they're doing has nothing to do with what you're doing. You can do what you're doing. You can thrive, shine, hell, create your own freaking lane girl do it and what the other person is doing is not they're not trying to swerve into your lane if I'm in a swimming pool the only two people my left and my right is the past version of me and a future version of me and I'm in the middle in the present just swimming beating my time like I am doing it but that is the only person I'm in competition with is what Most people, the only person they are truly in competition with is themselves. I don't even have time to think about what you're doing because I am busy in my lane. But I want you to achieve. I want you to shine. Gosh, share your talent, your strengths with the world. I believe that if we allowed people to lean into their strengths to lean into the things that truly excite them that interest them that we would just be so much further along and that maybe we would see even the narrative and the perception of how people see therapists improve I don't know i'm just hopeful i am hopeful at the end of the day that we can move forward stronger more sustainable more aware more conscious i don't know that's just my thoughts on everything let me know what you think of this episode again i am exploring what solo episodes look like for me some of it is opinion some of it is my own story but I think that's all I got for you today I am excited for this week's guest episode I will have Abby Wilson she will be talking about existential therapy her journey as an existential therapist it was such a joy to talk with her and yeah leave a comment leave a rating It helps bring the show more awareness and I love doing what I'm doing and would love to continue growing my audience. So I'll catch you later.