Soft Life Entrepreneurship: Substack, Micro-Bakeries & Embracing Your Manifesting Generator Design with Kristen Garaffo

Are you feeling shame over the number of times you've hit the reset button on your career? This episode is your permission slip to celebrate every pivot!

Host Jazzmyn welcomes writer and creator Kristen Garaffo of the Substack Older, Wiser, Hotter to discuss her incredible journey from professional theater and journalism to launching a successful micro-bakery from her kitchen. Kristen reveals how discovering her Manifesting Generator (MG) Human Design provided the relief she needed to accept her multifaceted nature and embrace "doing all the things."

We're tackling the fear of inconsistency and shifting the focus from chasing passion to simply following your curiosity.

In this episode, we dive into:

• The Power of Pivoting: Kristen's path from theater to freelance journalism to starting a micro-bakery.
• The Soft Life Business Model: How to build a sustainable, cozy entrepreneurship venture (like a micro-bakery) using a pre-order model.
• Healing Inconsistency Shame: How Human Design and Astrology helped Kristen shed the traditional narrative that bouncing between projects is a flaw.
• Substack vs. Short-Form: Why the slower, "cozier" nature of platforms like Substack cultivates deeper connection and community.
• Curiosity as Courage: The profound commitment to choosing curiosity over the overwhelming pressure of passion to propel your visibility and expansion.

This is essential listening for any creator, Manifesting Generator, or entrepreneur who struggles to commit to one path and needs the courage to launch the next big (or small) idea.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Are you sitting with thousands of hours of B-roll content and telling yourself, I'll start posting tomorrow? Are you in your head worried about your friends and family thinking your cringe for choosing to be visible? Are you chasing trends instead of building influence? Welcome to the Visibility Standard, where the visionaries of today are changing the roles of their industries and letting their voice be heard. I'm your host, Jasmine, and we are setting this together. I am so excited for my guest today. She is another DMV local. Her Substack is Older, Wiser, Hotter, and she has also opened a micro bakery out of her kitchen where I actually picked up cookies the previous weekend. Kristen Grafo, thank you so much for joining me today.

SPEAKER_01: 0:50

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to chat today.

SPEAKER_00: 0:53

Of course. I have been following your Substack for a little bit, and I did not even know until like recently when I had reached out that you were also like my neighbor, and that's so exciting. I haven't met a lot of creators like in this space. And so I'm always so excited when I see like DC or Maryland in the bio.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14

Yeah, and the feeling is mutual. It's so cool to connect because the internet can feel so vast because it is so vast. So it's so fun to find local friends who are close by.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24

Absolutely. So what inspired Older Wiser Hotter?

SPEAKER_01: 1:29

So I started Substack. I'm actually, yesterday was my one year anniversary of being on Substack. So I basically am a writer. That's my job. I'm a freelance journalist. And I started that was a pandemic pivot for me. So I've always been a writer, but I started freelance writing in 2020, 2021. And basically, I had these like personal essays that I would write just like for fun in a Google doc that I titled Personal Essays. And I probably had about two years worth of just like random essays about just like personal things that were happening in my life, or just like deep thoughts that I had about, I don't know, just like whatever I was into at the moment. And I just got to a point where I was like, what am I doing with these essays? Like they're just sitting, no one has read them. Like it's just me and my like secret Google Doc. And I got to a place where I was like annoyed with myself because I was like, these essays aren't doing anything being hidden away on my computer. I was already on Substack as like a reader, and I was like, this platform is here. I might as well like just dive in and try it. And I did, and I was so scared to do it because again, these essays hadn't seen the light of day. Then I put them out in the world. And yeah, and then I just dove in and I was proud of myself for doing it, but also the community on Substack is so kind and positive, and it is a social media platform, but the vibes feel so much different than any other platform that I'm on, and it's a nice rhythm. I like how it seems like Substack's a little bit slower, a little bit cosier, again, a little bit more like kind and supportive. And yeah, and I share weekly on Sundays, and it's evolved because it's been a full year. But yeah, that's my Substack origin story.

SPEAKER_00: 3:31

I love that, and you're so right about Substack because the consumption rate is different, and that was short form content. It's 30 seconds a minute, and then people are trying to cram all of this information into one video, and people are engaging with it versus Substack. There's space to like digest, you're not forced or rushed to make an opinion and reading. You are like engaging with someone's thoughts and insights in such a different way, and I believe that cultivates a very different community, a different vibe. I love that your vibe reads soft life, but it doesn't preach soft life. I honestly get this joy, this leaning into hobbies and things and ideas that make you feel good. And I'm just wondering, is that the vibe you're trying to cultivate or what's the inspiration behind that?

SPEAKER_01: 4:27

Yeah, I number one, thank you for saying all of that. I think when I started the Substack, I so I called it it's called older wiser hotter because like I am I just turned 38 and I was feeling feelings basically about getting older and like just trying to figure out like what that meant. So a lot of my personal essays in the beginning were about that, and it's now evolved into I think you're right, like I crave a soft life. Like I am very much into the cozy vibes and especially life at home because I work from home and I love home, and my writing and my content is a lot about home life. And I think that I try to think about the content and the writing and the art that I put out into the world as I don't know, just I never want it to feel heavy. I always feel like I'm trying to romanticize my own life. And I want to share that because I think the like where we are now, it's like there is so much heavy. There's so much stuff that we have to wade through, especially online. And I really try to bring a little bit of light, a little bit of joy without being overly sacrine, because I also think that it's not at all helpful. But yeah, I'm just out here trying to romanticize my life and share it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 5:49

It's such a fresh perspective because a lot of times when we see content creation, it's people out and about documenting their life versus you are documenting, but you're documenting your everyday, whether it's baking, whether it's your estate sales, which but you are you have found so many ways to allow working from home and being home to be an experience versus a very mundane task.

SPEAKER_01: 6:17

Yeah, and it actually going back to like pandemic times when I like pivoted, my creative outlet of choice in 2020 was to like reimagine our one bedroom apartment. I literally gave makeovers to every single room. It was a one-bedroom apartment, so there wasn't a lot of space to begin with, but like taking the time because we weren't going anywhere, like I took an interior design class, I like learned more about design and aesthetics, and I love beautiful space. I love beautiful things, and I think as I've gotten older, I'm almost like more sensitive to my surroundings, and I just get so much joy out of beauty and beautiful things. And like I don't know, I'm just so passionate about making your home like the most wonderful, beautiful place that you can be.

SPEAKER_00: 7:04

My jaw almost hit the floor when you said one bedroom during COVID because I was in a two-bedroom and that felt tight. So I cannot imagine sharing a one bedroom at a time where you literally can't go anywhere, you can't have people over, you also can't have your external hobbies, which almost makes making home a cozy experience like that much more valuable because the pandemic was such a unpredictable time. The timelines varied, they changed. And so you all are learning how to live within this new normal while also making it a joyful space. I'm curious, what did you pivot from before you went into journalism?

SPEAKER_01: 7:47

Oh my gosh. So we'll dive into a short deep dive of my professional life. I've pivoted so many times. So my background is actually in theater. So I used to be a professional actor in the area. I went to college for musical theater. I went to a conservatory. So I dove headfirst into a theater career. And the short version of the story is I think I burnt out and was just ready for something new. The pandemic was actually everything was shut down and the live performance was not happening. Had also done a bunch of side jobs because being an actor, you always have to have something on the side. So I taught yoga, I was a life coach, I was a barista, I tempted, I did all of these things. And I didn't even know that freelance writing was a thing until the Every Girl, an online media outlet, put on their Instagram story that they were hiring writers. And within the me redoing my house, I had also started a blog just like for fun. And I realized when I saw the freelance writer opening at the everygirl, I was like, oh, I can get paid just to write and basically take the stuff that I was blogging about, put do it for someone else and get paid for it. And I was like, wow, okay. So I stumbled upon another freelance writer on Instagram, and she did one-on-one coaching. And so I hired her. We got on a Zoom for an hour, and she basically told me everything. She was like, This is how you find editors, this is how you pitch, this is how you put together a writing portfolio, all of it. And I cold pitched, I think it was for like eight weeks and heard nothing. And it was really hard. Like the first year of freelance writing was so hard, but I heard crickets, like literally nothing, not even a no. And of course, how it ended up turning out is I was like, you know, I'm gonna try for a week more. And if I don't hear anything, I will move on and try something else. And of course, that was the week that I got my first yes, I'm interested in writing. Can we hire you?

SPEAKER_00: 9:51

Oh my gosh. So your like career history has required a level of adaptability that not a lot of people would feel comfortable with in terms of their job flexibility. I am so curious. What has given you the bravery, the courage, the desire to continue pursuing what feels good, even from a career standpoint?

SPEAKER_01: 10:16

Yeah, it's really wild. And I am an astrology girly, I am a human design girly. Like those sorts of things help me understand myself on a deeper level because I will tell you, it's very frustrating sometimes for me to be bouncing from thing to thing because I can have an inner dialogue that's I should stick with this. I shouldn't pivot. What am I doing with my life? This is crazy. And I think I've learned that this is actually how I'm made up. I think I am a creative to my core. And I think that even when I was doing theater professionally, I have essentially freelanced my entire adult life and I've bounced from thing to thing and I've pieced together income. And I think doing a traditional nine to five or even just any sort of traditional job, it doesn't work for me as much as I would love it to, because I feel like my life would be a lot easier. But I am not made up in that way, and I think I've had to do a lot of learning and accepting that part of myself. And actually, again, bringing it back to astrology, I have so much Gemini in my chart. So it's a lot of air. And when I like deep dive into my astrology, it's oh, I am actually like meant to do a lot of different things and I'm meant to bounce around, and this is just how you know I operate. And again, it is not always easy. It's actually probably never easy. Like I feel like I'm always hustling and tinkering, and but I think at least for myself, I knew if I would be doing anything else, I wouldn't be happy. And I think I would be struggling and it just wouldn't be it. And I think it does require a lot of courage, which is not always easy.

SPEAKER_00: 12:00

When I decided to grow beyond the therapy room, I knew I needed systems that could keep up. Enter Jane app, the practice management platform that has my back. From online booking to charting to payments, Jane keeps everything streamlined so I can show up for my clients and create content, build my brand, and run my business with confidence. If you're ready to level up your practice, head to jane.app and use code JAS1MO for a one-month grace period.

SPEAKER_01: 12:32

And I think I've had a lot of practice pivoting and I still get nervous about things, but I try to do it anyway. Like I try to follow my gut. I don't think my gut has ever seared me wrong. So yeah, I completely understand though that I have a pretty wild career path.

SPEAKER_00: 12:52

But I love that a lot, a lot of my audience is very much interested in astrology and human design. And so there's so many of us who recognize leaning into especially human design, like when we get really clear about what our energy allows, working a standard nine to five, when you learn that for some of us, that's just not feasible, that's not like sustainable and it doesn't feel good, and it actually leads to burnout, it leads to feeling unfulfilled every day and using your nine to five and then using your weekends to recover. And that's not a life, especially when life already feels heavy. We deserve to cultivate and create a life and all aspects of it that feels good. I'm very curious what your human design is.

SPEAKER_01: 13:44

Yeah. If you haven't already guessed, I'm a manifesting generator. Do all the things, and actually, I remember reading and learning about human design for the first time and reading about manifesting generators and being like, oh my gosh, like female scene for the first time. And also, I think the biggest thing, too, was I think the idea of being flaky or not being able to commit to something was something that I felt shame about. But then reading about manifesting generators and how like it's never, it's never being flaky. It's like you're we are supposed to follow our gut and we move faster than other human design types, and it makes complete sense to be doing three or four things at once. And that also ties in with my Gemini tendencies as well. So actually like feeling so much relief just from the human design, but also knowing the astrology too and being like, oh, this goes together in a way. I think the word is like relief. I was like, okay, I'm not, I'm not doing something wrong, or I can maybe stop being so hard on myself or bouncing around and doing all of these things.

SPEAKER_00: 14:52

Yeah, taking away that shame aspect of I'm not inconsistent, I'm not like I can't hold down a job, that very traditional narrative. It's like actually, I'm not designed that way. Like I'm not meant to function in that way. I'm also a fellow generator with a lot of Aquarius in my chart. So I'm with you the air with the idea and committing to the idea. And then my strategy within human design is to respond. And when I learned what that really meant, what that looked like, it's allowed creation and in so many ways that you've talked about it to feel more like natural.

unknown: 15:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 15:30

But speaking of pivoting, you have a bakery now.

SPEAKER_01: 15:34

My gosh, yeah, girl, another pivot. You've it again.

SPEAKER_00: 15:40

I know you've been leaning into the Ina Garden summer. What has inspired the bakery?

SPEAKER_01: 15:47

Okay, so this is so wild. So the bakery has been in existence for three weeks now, almost four. So, like, we are at the very baby beginnings of whatever this is. But I okay, the short version, and then maybe we can get into the long version. I so I'm I'm also at the very end of the artist's way. I don't know if you are familiar with the artist way, but it's a 12-week creativity course. And essentially, I have put myself in a creative bubble. And through the artist's way, I have relearned, I've basically been like dabbling in like childhood hobbies and like fun. Like I have like reread books that I like read, I reread my American Girl books just because I wanted to. And I've been doing all these things. And one of the things that I have given myself permission to do is to bake. So I'm in my Arna Garten era too. I read her memoir last fall and it completely changed my life. I am so obsessed with her and her life, and like I didn't really know a ton about her before I read her memoir. And I started cooking and hosting and trying all of these things on. And one thing that I learned as I was going through these cookbooks is that I'm not much of a cook and I would always go to the back of the book where all of the dessert recipes are. And like the mains and the appetizers like honestly don't interest me as much as the desserts. And it's so funny that I learned this because I'm not a cookbook girly, not really a kitchen girly, but once I gave myself permission to actually play a little bit with the dessert recipes, I basically remembered that I grew up baking with my mom. Like I would help my mom bake, like she bakes all these Christmas cookies, and I would bake them with her, and we made brownies, and I never helped with dinner, but I helped with the desserts. And I guess this was a couple weeks ago in the spring when I started baking again. And of course, with the algorithm of it all, like I started sharing my baking, and then Instagram and TikTok started sending me baking videos, and I saw a reel about a micro bakery and had never heard of a micro bakery, but was like so intrigued by it, and also it was like presented as a very like cozy, soft life business. It doesn't have to be anything like giant or huge unless you want it to be. Like it can also be just like very chill vibes. And I, this was in April, and I was like, this is really cool. I can't do this right now, but maybe when the yard sale happens in the summer, maybe I'll just sell cookies or something. And then of course, fast forward like two months later, there's a sign in my neighborhood that's oh, the community yard sale is happening on Saturday. And I think I saw the sign on Wednesday, and I was like, oh my God, it's here. The moment is here. And I went back and forth in my mind where I was like, okay, it's Wednesday, and this is on Saturday. Do I have the time to like put everything together? And it's not a lot of time, but I think I got to a place where I will be upset with myself if I don't do this because the neighborhood will be out. It's like an event. I have to do this. So we did it. I put everything together in just a couple days. Like I got my cottage food license. I like read all the rules about Maryland and I baked cookies and I baked bread and I like set up this table and sold almost all of my, I sold all the bread. I sold almost all of my cookies, and it was so fun to just be out in the community. And and again, knowing my Gemini tendencies, I feel like at one point I would have been like, okay, we sold cookies at the yard sale. We're done. We did it. But then there was something in my mind that was like, you know, we're just beginning. We're just starting. We're gonna keep going. Yeah, so we're going. And I am starting with chocolate chip cookies and bread, and I'm doing a pre-order model for now because again, the soft life of it all is I like pre-orders because I'm not making more than I need to. I can do it all from home. Like, I'm not going to farmers markets and go. There's also a lot of like rules and stuff. And I think to start, like this feels like a very sustainable, fun, cute thing to do out of my house. And I still am in a place of, oh my gosh, I can't believe that I'm doing this. This was not on my 2025 bingo card at all, like zero. But now that it is, I'm just like surprised and delighted by all of it.

SPEAKER_00: 20:17

Oh my goodness. What you just shared is this connection to intuition, this connection to the self, and allowing yourself to flow with that and allowing yourself just to be curious. There's no hard commitments, there is no like timelines to it. It's just being curious about how this can evolve for you and moving with that.

SPEAKER_01: 20:45

Yeah. Yeah. And I think again, bringing back the astrology into all of it. I have an Aries moon, and I think the Aries part of my chart likes to do things, but also do them well. And like the beginnings of things are very exciting. So I think that rush of, oh my gosh, it's Wednesday and this is on Saturday, let's just do it. I feel like my Aries like really kicked in and was like very into it. But again, the kind of spirituality of all of it and like the artist way is completely spiritual. It's basically all about just connecting with the universe or God or whoever, and just getting back to a place of this is part of us and the world is creation, and like we are part of the creation. And because we are creative beings, it's like it's all in us. So like we just have to get back to a place where we're quiet enough, or I can say where I am quiet enough to actually hear what actually wants to be created, right? And again, I had no idea that it was cookies and bread. Like, literally no idea. And it's been so cool and wonderful to just relearn that about myself and like now be in a position where, you know, like I spent my morning this morning making oatmeal raisin cookies at eight in the morning. I'm like, what am I doing? This is my life now. I decided that this is my life now, so it's really fun.

SPEAKER_00: 22:05

It's so amazing how we can watch things unfold and wake up and be like, okay, now I'm podcasting. Like social media was really a fun hobby. And now I wake up and this is a part of my routine. This is a part of my day. And we don't expect those things to resonate, but when they do resonate, it's oh man. I would be failing myself if I don't pursue this. I would really be selling myself short if I don't allow myself the space to be curious and to see what this looks like.

SPEAKER_01: 22:38

For sure. And I think that requires a good dose of courage, right? Especially with the social media stuff. It's putting yourself out there and with the microbery stuff. Like I wanted to throw up when I like open pre-orders for the first time. And I still do. I'm still so nervous to be like, oh my gosh, it feels so wild to be making cookies in my kitchen and then having people drive to my house and buying them. And all of it again, I think I've learned that feeling nervous or fearful or any of those kinds of feelings is not a sign to stop or turn around or do something else. It's actually maybe a sign to keep going. At least that's what I've learned. It's because I think if I wasn't feeling the nerves or the kind of like anxious slash excited nurse, I don't think it would mean something. That energy, at least in my experience, this is something that you really care about and it's worth pursuing. Growth doesn't happen unless we get a little uncomfortable, right? It's like we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable if we grow.

SPEAKER_00: 23:41

That nervousness, I've learned maybe I'm on the edge of something. If I'm feeling this tensity between where I am right now and where I feel like I'm going, and there's this anxiety, this fear, that's worth exploring. It's not necessarily a stop or a pause. It's like you are on the edge of growth, of change, of shifting, of evolving. And that's scary because that's letting go of old patterns, old belief systems, and even what we feel we should be doing, those shoulds that really pigeonhole us and allowing ourselves the space to step over that threshold and say, okay, but I'm going to pursue it anyway and see what happens.

SPEAKER_01: 24:24

Yeah, it's fun and scary.

SPEAKER_00: 24:27

Fun and scary, and we do it anyway.

SPEAKER_01: 24:29

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 24:31

I have to ask about the estate sale because that's so niche and I have not seen it in a long time. What inspired you to get into estate sales?

SPEAKER_01: 24:41

Okay, so there was an estate sale in my neighborhood, and I literally have no idea what it was or what was going on. There was just a crowd outside of a house, and I asked what is happening, and they're like, It's an estate sale. And I was like, What is that? And they like had to explain that it's selling their stuff. So there was a list outside. I signed up. I ended up going in and my mind was blown. I was just like, I'm in a house and everything is for sale. It was also a very nice house. And then from there, there's another DC creator. Her handle is Maddie the B, and she shares estate sales weekly. And I was just like, these are so cool. And I also love like interior design and home life. And yeah, I just started going and they are so wild. I've learned so many things. I've been going for a little more than a year now. And yeah, estate sales are so cool. Like, thrifting is really cool, but I feel like this is its own like lane in thrifting because you're in people's homes. And yeah, there are some really cool houses in the area too. And like people have lived really incredible lives here. And yeah, it's really fun. I'm basically at one like every weekend.

SPEAKER_00: 25:49

I love that. And I love that that's such a like hobby. It's so cool. Yeah. This conversation was such a gift, and this has energized me, especially coming back from my podcast about a call. Having this as my first conversation, I feel just sets the tone for so many future interviews. So thank you so much for sitting with me. As a closing question for all of my guests, I am asking, what is your commitment to yourself?

SPEAKER_01: 26:17

My commitment to myself is I just want to continue following my curiosity. I know Elizabeth Gilbert talks about how passion is such a big overwhelming word, and because people say follow your passion, and she basically says to swap it with curiosity because curiosity is a little more gentle and not as foreboding as passion. And I actually think pretty much everything that I am currently doing, as far as like the bakery and Substack and everything, is because I decided to follow my curiosity. So I think I just want to keep, I want to commit to that and I want to keep going and I want to keep like dipping my toes into whatever the next step is, how small it is, it probably should be small because I like to make big, giant leaps, and I have to tell myself, no girl, just do the next small step, whatever that is. And yeah, that's what I commit myself to, uh is my curiosity.

SPEAKER_00: 27:18

I feel like that's really great advice too for anyone who is thinking about starting something new is you don't need to make full huge leaps, just doing the next small step brings you so much closer to the dream.

SPEAKER_01: 27:35

Exactly. Yeah, and I have to remind myself of that every day. So we don't have to take a giant leap, just a small step today, period. And then you're right, and then we get to wherever we need to get to.

SPEAKER_00: 27:47

Thank you so much for joining me today.

SPEAKER_01: 27:49

Thank you, Jasmine. This was so fun.